Sunday, July 28, 2013

Another Anniversary Without Sight

Sunday, July 28. The day I will always remember as the day I woke up in 1991 having lost my eyesight as I was sleeping. The story of how it happened and how my life unfolded over the next several months and years through the positive days and the negative ones is more complicated than a simple statement, but each year, I attempt to reflect on the year which I just completed. I also take a look on a grander scale to my life since that day I lost my sight. Today, as I listened to various songs attempting to find that one which crystalized my feelings, I realized it was more difficult than in years past. I do not know if facing this anniversary this year is in some way easier or why it is, but I do not feel as sad or even as heart broken as I usually do on this day or in days leading up to this date. People may argue that one adjusts and accepts. I do not quite agree with that as I do not believe I have ever adjusted and have never accepted it. For years I use to say that learning to live with a lack of sight or in any way embracing that I do not have use of my eyes would be admitting defeat. It would be my way of saying I have given up on ever seeing again. Anyone who knows me knows I would never give up on hoping that. Every day, I hope that I am one day closer. As my plays, screenplays, short stories, creative nonfiction, marathons, and triathlons show, I have attempted to move forward. I do not want to stay in one place. I may end up in a place in life where I do not want to be, but I do not want it to be because I did not take advantage of living life. I would rather make a bad decision and get burned than not make one and live with the regret. Of course, when I reflect on moments in my life, I do find moments of regret. I find myself apologizing to myself for not giving myself a fighting chance in certain situations. I also see that there have been opportunities I have seized for which I am proud of myself.

Unlike years past where I spend the day knowing I could have achieved so much more had I had my sight for all these years, I have found myself saying thank you to those individuals who have enriched my life over all these years. Listing them here would be a mistake because I would run out of time and would forget so many people who would then be mad at me. If you are my friend on Facebook or in life, then you have heard me rave about you. If you and I follow each other on Twitter then chances are we have exchanged pleasantries over the years where I have told you how much I value your being in my life. If you and I have shared electronic mail, texts, or phone calls over the years then at some point I have told you my feelings for what you mean to me. If I have not, then I will tell you right now, I LOVE YOU!! Thank you for enriching my life. I am grateful you inspire, encourage, and motivate me to get the best out of me in plays, screenplays, stories, blog entries, marathons, duathlons, triathlons, and life. You mean the world to me and I hope you know I will do anything for you.

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